Two Easy Pieces

Love God and love your neighbor as yourself: two simple instructions for a well-lived life. How hard could that be?

They’re easy to remember, with that connecting “love” at the beginning of each, and they certainly sound attractive and inviting. (Can you think of anyone who’s opposed to love?)

Of course for Christians these issues hardly need any discussion; it’s just how we are, an unshakable aspect of our faith. After all, we have accepted our Lord’s call to a life of charity and ....

Hold on a minute.

A Brief Interlude

Oh good grief; do you hear that awful racket??!! It is intolerable. Honestly, this goes on all the time. Here it is, 11:40 on a week night, and some short-eared jackass is racing up and down the street, revving the engine on his noisy motorcycle. No respect for anyone, no concern for anybody but himself. SHUT THAT LOUSY THING OFF, I’m trying to think!!

What was part that about my neighbors, again?

As gentle and endearing as these loving teachings are, they’re not at all simple, not automatic, and they certainly aren’t easy. Saying we follow Christ and actually following him are two different things. In theory we love our neighbors, and we believe it sincerely as we bow our heads in prayer, or while sitting comfortably in our living rooms. But in fact — when we’re faced with actually dealing with the blighters — it can be a struggle.

Exceptions

It’s the particulars that hang us up, isn’t it? Because I am a Christian I love everybody in the whole wide world. (vrrrrooomm!! There he goes again!) Except that guy out there on the motorcycle: him, I hate. And the creep in Oakland who shot that 76 year-old lady after he knocked her down and stole her purse — I hate him, too.

Hitler, Mao Tse-tung, those who are murdering Coptic Christians in Egypt, the kidnappers of Daniel Pearl, the participants in the Rwandan genocide, Wall Street profiteers, crooked politicians, whoever it was that hit my friend’s car in the parking lot, that guy out there on the motorcycle (did I mention him already?) .... There are a number of exceptions I’d like to make to that “love everybody” business, and I bet you can think of quite a few of your own, too.

Do people still count as our “neighbors” if they are mean or hateful? What if they are murderers or drug dealers or pedophiles? What if they abuse the elderly, steal from the poor, poison our wells, or run puppy mills? Where do we draw the line? Is there a line? Am I really supposed to love all of my neighbors — no matter what? Aren’t there some exceptions?

It’s a tough question; one that challenges our faith and our understanding of the teachings of our Lord. Are we truly called to love without limitations?

Love and “Love”

Perhaps we should start by clarifying the meaning of that massively over-used and hugely under-appreciated word, love.

We live in a culture that uses “love” to describe the way we feel about our car’s fuel economy, the taste of a hamburger, a type of fabric, or the texture of our hair. That may be satisfaction or even delight — but it is neither deep nor lasting. It certainly isn’t love.

We may say we love roses and rainbows, the way her new blue dress looks on our coworker, and how easy it is to replace the toner on the new printer. We say “love” but we mean we like it a lot.

Love and Sex

Love isn’t simple physicality, either. The squeal-inducing hormonal rush we experience in the presence of someone we find attractive is simply that: an energy surge. It isn’t evidence of an underlying destiny; it is not proof of a relationship written in the stars. That’s chemistry and biology — and maybe the beginning of something wonderful, but it isn’t love.

This delightful energy may lead us to love, with time and understanding, but sexual attraction isn’t love. The tragic confusion of the two is the cause of many divorces and ruptured relationships when “that old feeling” evaporates.

Love and Sentiment

While love is not the same as a physical attraction, neither should it be confused with mere emotion. Although our hearts do lead us toward holy compassion, we must be careful to avoid succumbing to sugary sentimentality.

When we see a hungry child, a homeless veteran, an abandoned pet .... a deep sadness wells up within us; “That poor thing!” we cry. Our pity inspires us to donate to a charity or place a few dollars in an outstretched hand. Yet even these admirable intentions can lead us into dangerous territory.

Dangerous Territory

There is of course the temptation to puff ourselves up; to view our actions as “noble” or “heroic” when we have done what is expected of us, nothing more (Lk 17:10). We have accepted our Lord’s call to bless and heal, and that’s what we do; there is no cause for conceit. But we are vulnerable to another risk, as well.

When we see the other as “in need of rescue,” we may fail to take note of what brought this need about. Looking at the victim, we may neglect to seek the cause of the hunger, addictions, and homelessness. And the Tempter loves to entice us away from the work of the Kingdom by convincing us that “we are doing something.” Compassion does not stop at treating the symptoms; intelligent, heart-felt concern — true Christian love — will seek to heal the trouble at its source.

Significant Differences

Just as we discussed in our exploration of forgiveness, there is a difference between compassion and permission. Our Christian love for those who have done wicked things in no way signals our approval.

The man who robbed and shot the grandmother in Oakland has done something reprehensible, and he should face the consequences of his actions. By looking at him with compassion we will see him as a man: neither a pitiable victim nor a soulless demon. By viewing the situation with Christian love we will seek to do justice rather than seek vengeance while honoring our call to protect the vulnerable.

The Purpose of Love

Love God and love your neighbor as yourself: Jesus tells us that these two commandments are intertwined. Our love for God inspires and guides us to love our neighbors, and our love for others blesses them and guides them to love and to God. Love leads to life and grace and peace. Like begets like.

The opposite of love is hate. It, too, begets itself: hatred inspires more hate, more rage, more destruction, more violence.

When we succumb to hate — even of the most despicable, wicked, unholy person or group — we fall into its power. We no longer see people, but enemies; we seek to eradicate, to destroy, to vanquish. We no longer celebrate Life, but serve death.

We develop a habit of hatred. Soon our “enemies list” expands, and we give ourselves permission to hate anyone or anything that troubles us. Petty annoyances, small squabbles, and minor irritations become insufferable, “evils” that we hate ... and that which we hate we find immensely easy to destroy. Our hatred and destructive impulses breed more of the same, and our world is filled with hate and violence.

Love alone can save us.

Virtual hugs and real-time blessings,

Deborah +

This Week's Suggested Spiritual Exercises

Meditate on the Lord’s teachings each day:

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.